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A bride has called off her wedding after discovering what she describes as a "major red flag" with her fiancé.
The 28-year-old bride detailed the situation in a recent post on Reddit, beginning by providing some context to her relationship and the couple's vision for the future. She said she and her fiancé, 30, have been together for five years and had been looking forward to a fall 2025 wedding.
They also had big life plans, she said. "We had been talking for YEARS about our future — like kids, finances and buying a house together. We had a whole plan to save up, find something we both loved and make it our home," the bride wrote, reiterating, "This was talked about a lot."
In light of this, she was shocked to find out that her fiancé had "already bought a house — but not with me … with his MOM." The bride said she had no idea he was even house hunting.
"Apparently his mom found 'the perfect place' and convinced him to split it with her because she 'didn’t want to rent anymore,' " the bride wrote. "So now, instead of us planning our future together, he’s financially tied to his mother who’s going to be living there full-time."
She continued: "And when I asked where I fit into all this, he goes, 'Oh, well, you can move in too, of course!' Like I’m supposed to be thrilled to live in a house his MOM picked out, partially owns and is just… there all the time."
The bride went on to share that her fiancé also gave her another surprising justification for buying the house behind her back. "He admitted he did it because 'I was taking too long' to save and his mom offered him a 'faster way' to own something," she explained.
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Feeling utterly shocked and "pissed," the bride took some "space" from her fiancé to process her feelings about the situation.
"And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I can’t marry someone who thinks this is normal. So I called off the wedding," she wrote.
Her fiancé's family didn't understand her decision and began "blowing up her phone" with messages, telling her she was "being dramatic" and "overreacting." They also argued that "it's just a house."
But for the bride, her fiancé's choice to go in on such a major purchase with his mom without consulting his future wife is a "giant red flag."
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In the comments of the post, fellow Redditors sympathized with the bride, assuring her she is completely justified in feeling upset and betrayed by her fiancé.
"He didn’t just buy a house. He built a whole future with his mom and left you out of it. That’s not a mistake... it’s a conscious decision to prioritize her over you. And the fact that he thought you’d just move in like a guest in a home his mother controls? Disrespectful as hell," one commenter wrote.
The same person added: "This isn’t just a red flag, it’s a parade of them. If you marry him, you’re not getting a husband... you’re signing up to be the third wheel. He’s already made his choice, and it wasn’t you."
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Many others shared the opinion that the OP's fiancé treated her like "an afterthought."
"He bought a house with his MOM, and then expected you to just happily move in? That’s not a partnership, that’s him treating you like an afterthought," a commenter wrote. "And the whole 'taking too long to save' excuse? That’s just him admitting he doesn’t respect your timeline or your shared goals. Your feelings are valid, and you’re absolutely right to call off the wedding. He showed you where his priorities lie, and it’s not with you. Trust your gut."
Yet another Redditor pointed out that the issue goes far beyond the couple's wedding. "It’s about the life you are going to live with him," they argued. "If he puts his mother first with everything or makes important decisions like this without you, it will cause a lot of conflict. And it’s not just a house — him buying a house with her means he won’t be able to buy one with his wife for quite some time."
Someone else told the bride to consider herself lucky as she "dodged the biggest bullet in the world" by finding out about the house purchase before she went through with her wedding.
Another commenter agreed, writing, "This is the only right decision. Just imagine the power dynamics in that household. Everything his mom says goes because you’re living under her roof. You get in an argument with your husband, his mom always sides with him, you lose."
The same commenter added: "You need to be with someone where your relationship power is 50/50 with your partner. The fact that he made such a huge decision when you’re so deep in this relationship and about to marry just shows the lack of respect he has for you. It will only get worse with time."